Escape from Lagos

The Big One for serious long distance runners – Comrades

I flew into Durban early this morning, on the same flight with Willem and his family. Ant and Barene are supposed to arrive tomorrow, travel gawds willing.

Below is an email exchange between Commander Kevin (our wiley Ikoyi running Scotsman) and me.

At the bottom is a note from Becky and Rick (or mBecky and Rickety Bridge as wifey calls them) who are flying out of Lagos tonight. Looks like they made it to the boarding area, by the skin of their teeth, with some creative Nigerian problem solving by the always creative Becky.

From the book “How to be a Nigerian”   “dash” – the “sweetly quaint custom of expressing gratitude in anticipation of services about to be rendered”. Some countrymen are insulted by the description of “dash” as bribery.

Who’d a thunk that a sweet young girl from Xavier would become so adept at solving problems in Naija! LOL!

 

From: Kevin

Hey Guys

good luck to all of you for Comrades this weekend, do us all proud.

having now completed Two Oceans and seeing and feeling how hard it is, I really have to admire you all for doing this one.

have as safe trip too and see you all soon

Kevin x

John Murray	9:01 PM (49 minutes ago)
to kevin, rebecca.hochst., rickhochstetler, antxpress, bareneb

Thanks Kev – the advance man (me) has been on the ground for 8 hours. Best registration I’ve every experienced. Got a free massage, then toured the expo hall. Everything you’d ever need/want for running. Will hole up at my hotel until the other arrive tomorrow, then go back to expo hall again.

BTW – flew back of the bus down here. 3 hours to clear check in/security. Insane Nigerian raising hell at security about not being treated with respect, slowed everything down. But once boarded, all SAA flights/connections were smooth.

First impressions of Durban: very nice, but a bit lower market than Capetown. Lovely beaches and waterfront, but when I strolled inland to get to the Expo/Regi, I found myself amongst the more ‘regular’ SA crowd. No bothers, but a bit rough around the edges.

Ciao!
Coach J

Rebecca Hochstetler	9:08 PM (47 minutes ago)
to me

Hmm…you had 3 hours to check in. I took 3 hrs to get to airport in traffic. In security line… Worst I’ve ever seen and flight leaves in an hour. If Rick is alone you’ll know where I am.

Rebecca Hochstetler	9:50 PM (7 minutes ago)
to me

Made it. Nothing a dash for fast track can’t solve. Whew.

Fog City going Motown?

What in the heck is going on in my fav sleepy west coast city?

The Emerald City from Queen Anne Hill

Violent week raises fears throughout Seattle

SEATTLE — Seven murders in seven days.

The violence seems to have zero boundaries.

In the Central District, the neighborhood where this violent week began, hundreds filled the Garfield Community Center for a meeting with the mayor and Seattle Police leaders Wednesday night. This comes after Justin Ferrari was innocently shot while driving his family through the neighborhood last Thursday.

“We’ve got to do something about this,” said Rebecca Francis, who lives just yards from the shooting scene.  “For my child to duck down in the car as we’re driving away, saying, ‘I don’t want to get shot,’ is really ridiculous.”

Many in the city admit to being on edge following this stretch of violence which has touched much of the city — from the north end, through downtown, to the south end.

http://www.king5.com/news/cities/seattle/Violent-week-raises-fears-throughout-Seattle-155874905.html

With all the peace loving locals in Seattle, this is a big surprise. My pal William has been claiming things in Fog City are going down hill fast, and the productive folks are moving to the other side of Lake Washington. He sends the below:

May 29, 2012

Messaging about the shooters

Seattle News
by Stefan Sharkansky, 08:25 PM

Seattle’s political class responds to the recent spate of murders and other shootings, including the tragic cases of innocent bystanders caught in crossfire. It’s apparently easier and less controversial to blame inanimate objects than to do something about the human beings who choose to kill other people with those objects: “Guns more than gangs are fueling city’s violence, police say“

Seattle police officials Tuesday told the City Council that the outbreak of violence through Memorial Day weekend and since the beginning of the year has more to do with guns than with gangs.  Deputy Police Chief Nick Metz and Assistant Chief for Operations Paul McDonagh said that while gang activity has played a role in the 20 percent jump in homicides this year, the common denominator is guns.  “A person who has a gun is more likely to use a gun,” said Metz after the weekly council briefing.

What we do without deputy chiefs of police?  Neither city officials nor the Seattle Times are able or willing to tell us what other denominators might be common to the perpetrators, and I won’t presume to speculate either. But somehow I don’t think that many of the shooters are NRA members, because if that were the case they probably would have told us.

Me thinks I’ll take my chances in Lagos.

Glue Smokers

Sadly, these guys ain’t long for this world……..

Street life here in Lagos is full of surprises…..some of them not too pleasant. On a recent run, we passed a group of totally zonked out looking okada drivers. Bulging red eyes, ornery looking faces, etc…..Abdul, one of my fav Naija running boys commented that they obviously had been smoking glue.

“yeah Boss, dem Hausa boys smoke gum (glue) all dey. It make dem crazy. Same glue dat fix d shoe wit”.

Whoa…..I’m getting pretty old, but smoking glue for a buzz? Crazy!

But then I remembered that back in the US, local derelicts would ‘huff’ spray paint (read: inhale the fumes from the aerosols to get high). As many know, I’m no saint when it comes to enjoying a buzz, but to get a buzz from something that seems so obviously deadly, is a death wish. How wounded these people must be?!

From: http://www.vice.com/read/glue-v12n4 (note the article is Nairobi based, but the same issues are here in Lagos).

For most of us, getting high is a matter of choice and preference, like, “Hmm, do I want to smoke weed and watch The Incredibles tonight, or would I rather get a bag of coke and go talk shit with my buds?” When your nights are spent sleeping on cold concrete and your whole family is dead or missing, however, you take what you can get to reach oblivion asafp. For thousands of children living on Nairobi’s streets, a few shillings worth of shoe repair glue makes the nights a little less frigid and an empty stomach a little less insistent.

The glue is typically huffed out of empty plastic water bottles. It’s highly addictive and a powerful neurotoxin. Kids get hooked as soon as they hit the streets, some as early as eight years old. Five years later they are babbling and foaming at the mouth like rabid dogs.

According to Simon, the okada drivers (motorcycle cabbies) on Lagos and Victoria Islands are 90% Hausa boys. They come to Lagos seeking escape from their impoverished northern lives. Poorly educated, they have little to offer. They rent an okada and start hustling for riders. Tough life. They take solace in smoking glue. And in no time at all, they’re hooked. Not much later, they’re dead.

Sadly, life in emerging worlds has a lower value. These guys entered the world with very few possibilities. They’re exploited and abused immediately. They never get past Maslow’s first level.

Nigerian Dentistry

Meet Dr. Ireti Sanni  – very smooth with the dental arts in Lagos…..

It happened Thursday while attending an offsite management meeting in Lagos. Biting down on a nice piece of Nigerian pastry and CRUNCH. I’m chewing on a pebble.

Quickly determined that a piece of an old tooth filling had busted loose. And now I had a jagged hole in my tooth.While I wasn’t in any pain, my tongue was getting scraped up rubbing against the rough tooth.

My home town dentist – Dr. Stan Smyka had told me that this tooth was probably a candidate for a crown. But I didn’t want to go through the hassle of getting fitted during one of my brief home leaves. We decided to let it be…..

But what to do now?

My friend Hanna, who knows everything/everyone, gave me the name of her dentist office . Gave them a call, and made an appointment for 3:30pm the next day. The office is about 1km from my house – and I’ve run past it about a million times.

Check out the dental office:  http://www.schubbsdental.com/

In a very un-African style, I arrived about 15 mins early for the appointment. The office was very modern and friendly. Filled in some forms and was taken back to the work room, where Dr. Sanni and her assistant were waiting for me.

Dr. Sanni is a young Nigerian professional. When I saw her I thought she was a dental hygienist or aid. She (like many Nigerians) looks younger than they really are. A graduate of the University of Lagos School of Dentistry, she’s been practicing for 6 years.

But once she grabbed her tools and told me to “open up”, I realized she’s the real deal – the dentist.

She immediately saw an old oyibo mouth full of expensive crowns. “Very impressive”, she said, “but you must have bad teeth”.

Suspect I get this from my dear mother, who had all her teeth yanked at a relatively young age.

Dr. Sanni found the bad tooth. Took an x-ray and declared that the tooth needed a crown. To get a crown in Lagos is $500. About 40% of the US cost.

She then took her drill out and ground down the rough edges. Then did a complete teeth cleaning on me. Very nice work!

After doing the dental work, she took me on a tour of the facilities. Very impressive! As modern as any dental clinic I’ve been to in the US or UK. Full x-ray and dental lab on site. Met the staff – all impressive Nigerians.

Next step is to decide whether to get the crown down with Dr. Sanni or Dr. Stan. I’m probably going to get the work done here in Nigeria.

Failed Asset – Nigeria?

If you’re interested in a detailed and documented history of Nigeria, read this book.

My Igbo lawyer friend Kelichi gave me this book as a reference for why Nigeria is as dysfunctional as it is.

Sir Olaniwun Ajayikjw, who was present during the critical days leading up to Nigerian Independence in 1960, provides solid evidence that the former colonial masters (Britain) purposely set up Nigeria to be ungovernable.

In the beginning, there was much debate on the relative merits of a strong central government vs. an interdependent collection of states. Similar to the Federalist debate in the US. In the end, the central government model evolved, but it has never fully succeeded.

The author claims that the critical failure in the central government model is because Northern Nigerians have been in charge of Nigeria for 80% the time. Either through sham elections or via military coups. All with the full support and backing of the British government.

The author claims that if the Yoruba and Igbo peoples would have been allowed access to central governmental powers, the asset called Nigeria would be a much more prosperous place today.

Very thought-provoking, especially as the Boko Haram dirt bags (from the North) are creating serious problems for the weak federal government today. For the first time in Nigeria’s history, it is being led by a Southerner (Goodluck Jonathon is from the Delta). The theory is that the real reason the Boko Boys are creating havoc is because they are upset that the country is being led by a Southerner.

Hopefully Nigeria can hold it together until the 2015 elections and settle this debate in a civilized manner.

Mobile Phone Fines in Nigeria

From the New York Times:

Good article pointing out the challenges mobile phone operators face here in Nigeria. It is also interesting to see how the international companies come here for the big opportunity, but can have negative back wash if things don’t go well. That Steven Evans guy must really have a tough job!

Nigeria Fines Emirati Telecom for Poor Performance

By SARA HAMDAN

Published: May 17, 2012

DUBAI — Etisalat Nigeria, part-owned by the Emirati telecommunications giant Etisalat, was fined around $2 million by Nigerian regulators this week for poor service and failure to meet quality targets. The company says it plans to spend more than $500 million this year on its business.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/17/world/middleeast/nigeria-fines-emirati-telecom-for-poor-performance.html?_r=3

My Latest Naija Babe…….

She looks like a tough old bird, but she was very sweet to me……

Wifey’s convinced I’ve got a fleet of chocolate babes waiting on my beck and call over here. I wish……..I confess to having the opportunity of ‘interacting with’ some stunning African women. Here’s my latest……..

On my regular drives across the Falomo bridge, I would see her, aggressively directing traffic, wielding her 1m long pipe with full authority. Very much the center of traffic control. Nobody would ever mess with her!

And that’s why I’ve harbored a secret crush on her for the last 6 months! But I was stumped as to how to make my move…….

My opportunity appeared last Friday as Simon and I were heading back to base camp after work. We were stuck in the usual Lagos ‘go slow’ (read: creeping rush hour traffic), about 1km from where my dream girl was working . So I leaped out of the car and started to hoof it up the bridge, hoping I could get a chance to express my interests to Gloria.

As I approached, she was fully engaged in yelling at drivers. I find this such a turn on in a female traffic warden!

I maneuvered out into traffic and said “madam, did you know you are the most beautiful traffic warden in all of Lagos?”

All of the sudden, she burst into the biggest, most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen!

“Why thank you, sir”, was her response.

I asked if I could snap our pic, so I could show wifey what her Naija competition looks like. Gloria gladly complied. When I asked her if we could have dinner sometime – or would she rather take the N1000 note ($7), without delay she grabbed the cash.

Proving, once again, that old oyibos really are ATMs to the local chocolate girls!

Something Stinks?

Simon bought for this for the car without knowing that I am on an anti-California binge of late……

I hopped in the car this morning (Saturday) to drive to work and noticed a strange aroma. Looking around, I found a can of California stink.

If Simon were reading my blog posts, he’d know that I seem to be on an anti-California binge of late.  Ugh…..but as much as I complain about California, their air beats the Lagos country fresh air (not!) or the Tacoma Aroma……..

As an aside, riding around in Nigeria, the air vents in our cars are always set to ‘closed’. Unlike the US, where we always leave our vents ‘open’ to take in fresh air. In Nigeria, the road air is really bad. Loads of poorly maintained diesels + 2 stroke powered Okadas (aka scooters and motorcycles) make the Lagos air totally unacceptable to even the most lenient EPA-wonk.

Bad enough to be driving in it, but the Ikoyi runners plow through it on our regular gallops around town.

Lately I’ve been describing Lagos as a ‘Global Frontier Town’. Lot’s of cowboys, from all over the world and not very many sheriffs keeping them in check. Considering the Lagos air quality, I doubt that the Marlboro man (or his horse) would survive long down here.

More News From Home

Funny exchange with the ever witty Wifey……(read from bottom up)

John,Traverse City is awash with drunk eco-weirdos as far as i can tell.

On May 10, 2012, at 6:32 AM, John Murray wrote:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Darlink,

Is it my imagination, or is the only growth industry in TC beer production and drinking? Everything else seems to be ‘not-for-profit’ eco-weirdness. Certainly the market must be saturated (awash?) in beer?

Love,
me

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
———- Forwarded message ———-
From: The Ticker <info@theticker.tc>
Date: Thu, May 10, 2012 at 11:06 AM
Subject: Thursday Ticker: Right Brain’s Big Move: The Scoop
To: John Murray <jmurrayone@gmail.com>

Traverse City News and Events May 10, 2012

Right Brain Brewery’s Big Move by Lynn Geiger Work is underway at the new RBB Right Brain Brewery put the Warehouse District on the map. Now, get ready for SoFo – that’s south of Front, for those of you not in the know. The nearly five-year-old pub is picking up its tanks and taps and heading to 225 E. 16th Street in Traverse City – to a space ten times the size of its current location – on the west side of Boardman Lake. Last call inside RBB’s current Garland Street location is Memorial Day (Mon. May 28). Lights go out at 10 p.m.; Right Brain will re-open in its new space June 15. But before you start fantasizing about all that space for beer, know that some of that square footage is leased to other businesses, says Right Brain founder and owner Russell Springsteen. Salon Saloon, currently adjacent to Right Brain’s Garland Street space, will set up shop at the Boardman Lake location too. An architect has also signed on to move in, and a couple other tenants are in the works. From 3,500 square feet to 36,000 So what brought on the big move? Sheer necessity, says Springsteen. The Warehouse District location offers no space for grain storage (which prevents bulk buys and raises costs), very limited space for barrel aging brews, and – a brewery no-no – tanks touch each other. “We capped out [on space] two years ago,” says Springsteen. “I didn’t want to go out of business, so I started looking at other buildings.” At the new location, Springsteen will have grain silos, enabling him to buy 20 pallets of grain at a time, rather than the four he’s limited to now. He’ll also be able to bottle and can Right Brain brews – hopefully four brands by fall, he says – as well as triple production capacity, triple the pub space, and offer a few things the brewery couldn’t before: TVs, space for live music and events, plus a 60-80 spot parking lot. TVs and live music? Springsteen is quick to quell the fears of those who’ve grown to love the quiet, “unplugged” side of Right Brain, where conversation and board games reign. There is definitely room enough to please all tastes, he says. The music space will be separate from the main pub area, and Springsteen assures that elements of quiet will make the move, too. An initial plan to include a roller derby track, however, is a ‘no go.’ “We tried really hard to make it work, but there were just too many requirements for their space,” he adds. In the just released May-June issue of the Michigan Beer Guide, Right Brain is ranked 19th out of 66 on the list of the state’s microbreweries in terms of production. According to the guide’s 2011 industry report, Right Brain produced 1309.125 barrels of beer, up from 1216.906 barrels in 2010. Overall, the Michigan beer industry has grown by more than 26 percent in one year. Right Brain’s new space will have a new 15-barrel system dedicated to production and distribution, plus the current seven-barrel system used exclusively for the pub. The brewery will need it; Springsteen has just signed agreements to expand distribution to Oakland County, Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo. He currently has 100 Right Brain beer taps in restaurants and bars stretching from Benzie County to Mackinaw City. Want to attend Right Brain’s Urban Challenge grand opening party on June 30? Stay tuned for details!

Quick Trip

The Corniche – a lovely place to run (if you can deal with the heat!) in Abu Dhabi.

The Boss pulled me out of a meeting last Friday and asked me if I could go with him and a couple guys to meet with some of our shareholders – the next day.

Being a somewhat seasoned corporate geek, I knew that when the Boss ‘asks’, it’s really not a question. So 24 hours later I was sitting in an Emirates Air Boeing 777 heading to Dubai……7 hour flight and you’re on the ground.

The UAE is a nice break from the chaos of Lagos. It’s become the commercial hub for many global businesses. I’ve got many professional friends there, and even a few personal friends. But since this was a quick trip I didn’t get to do any socializing or serious shopping (sorry wifey!), but I did manage to get some running fuel, sox, and a new shirt.

Temps are just starting to get seriously HOT in the Gulf region.

Snuck out one evening after the sun set and the temperature had dipped to 35C/ 96F. All this running in Lagos must be working out. I cranked off 20kms without much strain at all. Don’t think I’d do as well during the day, when sun light temps are +40C / 104F.

The Corniche, in Abu Dhabi, is becoming one of my favorite places to run. A beautiful promenade, it offers runners, bikers, walkers over 10 miles of scenic trails along the impressive Abu Dhabi waterfront. Similar to Chicago’s Gold Coast, along the Lake Michigan coast, north of the Loop. Lots of great scenery, human and natural and man-made.

2 years ago, when I first moved to Lagos and started visiting the UAE, these temps would wipe me out. Now that I’m reasonably acclimated, they don’t bother me much at all.